Gonna be doing some filing today - bankruptcy filing, to be exact.
I feel like I owe one big, heartfelt Thank You Now Go Fuck Yourself to all my fandom groupies for not spending enough of your money at What Pumpkin this holiday season. Let’s be honest here. Let’s get my story straight and out in the open.
I was expecting a profit of $2 million~. Around there. So I took out a loan of exactly that much and used the allocated funds to carry out my 8-years-in-the-making plan of quietly killing off every employee at Olive Garden (when you hear it in the news tomorrow, pretend you didn’t read this). Hey, I’d be able to pay it off after you made your emotionally inclined money depleting splurges this holiday season at my internet emporium, no?
No, apparently I wouldn’t.
So thanks for that. Thanks for the literal financial shithole and cardboard box on the streets you’ve given me. Two millions dollars in debt. That’s my current status à la finances. I couldn’t expect a better holiday present from you guys (no, really, I couldn’t).
Gotta like the fact all of you probably collaborated together and lovingly planned every thread and seam to force me into this situation.
Short story time: I’ve lost everything but my body, soul, and childhood five-string banjo. I’m moving to Vegas with a pair of sparkly eyes like in those shitty animes you all probably spent your holiday budget on instead of finely crafted WP merch. So congrats on wasting your bank account too.
On top of all this, I’ve lost any and all omniscient powers I had over my characters, what with Homestuck not continuing and all. Pop science knowledge? Still got it.
Gonna be playing bluegrass and polka tonight on a street corner in the strip. I’ll be the one with a “my fandom betrayed me/money 4 beer pls” sign. See you fuckers there.