Gonna be doing some filing today - bankruptcy filing, to be exact.
I feel like I owe one big, heartfelt Thank You Now Go Fuck Yourself to all my fandom groupies for not spending enough of your money at What Pumpkin this holiday season. Let’s be honest here. Let’s get my story straight and out in the open.
I was expecting a profit of $2 million~. Around there. So I took out a loan of exactly that much and used the allocated funds to carry out my 8-years-in-the-making plan of quietly killing off every employee at Olive Garden (when you hear it in the news tomorrow, pretend you didn’t read this). Hey, I’d be able to pay it off after you made your emotionally inclined money depleting splurges this holiday season at my internet emporium, no?
No.
No, apparently I wouldn’t.
So thanks for that. Thanks for the literal financial shithole and cardboard box on the streets you’ve given me. Two millions dollars in debt. That’s my current status à la finances. I couldn’t expect a better holiday present from you guys (no, really, I couldn’t).
Gotta like the fact all of you probably collaborated together and lovingly planned every thread and seam to force me into this situation.
Short story time: I’ve lost everything but my body, soul, and childhood five-string banjo. I’m moving to Vegas with a pair of sparkly eyes like in those shitty animes you all probably spent your holiday budget on instead of finely crafted WP merch. So congrats on wasting your bank account too.
On top of all this, I’ve lost any and all omniscient powers I had over my characters, what with Homestuck not continuing and all. Pop science knowledge? Still got it.
Gonna be playing bluegrass and polka tonight on a street corner in the strip. I’ll be the one with a “my fandom betrayed me/money 4 beer pls” sign. See you fuckers there.
wwell shit its almost nine thirty an i havve an assignment tonight
so far this bloggin experience has been as disappointin as evver maybe i just need to followw more blogs
go ahead an make some recommendations if you wwould
wwhat the hell
I’ll take your three word proclamation as a fine mix of pure awe and reluctant sexual attraction.
It’s kind of a common response.
wwell shit its almost nine thirty an i havve an assignment tonight
so far this bloggin experience has been as disappointin as evver maybe i just need to followw more blogs
go ahead an make some recommendations if you wwould
http://www.andrewhussie.tumblr.com
http://www.andrewhussie.tumblr.com
http://www.andrewhussie.tumblr.com
http://www.andrewhussie.tumblr.com
http://www.andrewhussie.tumblr.com
(And if your emotionglands stir up that fun feeling we call “adventurous”, there’s always:
Who the unholy 8uttfuck is this showy asshole????????
Actually, all the buttfucks I’ve been involved in have only the holiest of taste. Naked sacramental bread-eating included.
So, quick Q&A response. I want to say “Andrew Hussie”, but you should probably call me “Daddy” for short. “God” works if you’re feeling lazy.
Sorry - too meta, too fast?
wwell shit its almost nine thirty an i havve an assignment tonight
so far this bloggin experience has been as disappointin as evver maybe i just need to followw more blogs
go ahead an make some recommendations if you wwould
http://www.andrewhussie.tumblr.com
http://www.andrewhussie.tumblr.com
http://www.andrewhussie.tumblr.com
http://www.andrewhussie.tumblr.com
http://www.andrewhussie.tumblr.com
(And if your emotionglands stir up that fun feeling we call “adventurous”, there’s always:
Anonymous
There’s a disclaimer stating I’m 100% fake (I like the term “duplicate copy”, because hey, it hurts my fragile insides a little less) on every single page of this tumblr. Go buy yourself a drink - how about one big, hot steaming glass of Common Fucking Sense? Personal favorite of mine.
Today is what I like to call a Possible Misunderstanding Day.
“Misunderstanding? What misunderstanding, Mr.Hussie?” <== You may ask.
Sit down by the fireplace and let me tell you. There you go. Comfy? Good.
We’re talking about a misunderstanding that I might be some kind of webcomic-specialized sadist and actually enjoy seeing my characters die and my fans cry.
I.E. John’s libel.
Sure, I might’ve said some things that made you raise your eyebrows to inhumanly possible heights. But maybe I was kidding? Yeah. Let’s go with that option.
Here’s a pembroke welsh corgi to whet the softer parts of your hearts.
See? Puppy. I’m a nice guy.
feeding off the energy of the people who admire you, i see?
you are a dark, dark person.
after 000000 on the hex scale there is ‘HUSSIE’
see, it’s even six characters.
Of course there is. I invented the hexadecimal scale, Egbert. Or is that too spoiler-y for you?
Better watch my tender lips - I might accidentally inform you of the preordained dire - albeit, convivial for me! - fates of your three besties.
Oh.
Oops.
My bad.
i am on the phone with bobby flay right now.
he would love to have a pompous buttface in his award winning saute dishes.
Sure seems to be a culinarian-themed day, doesn’t it? Because I just got off the phone with a certain barefoot contessa named Betty (we go back) and she’s on her way to your place right now.
Hope you like Ms.Crocker.
Oh, that’s right.
You don’t.
(via jonathanegbert)
feeding off the energy of the people who admire you, i see?
you are a dark, dark person.
after 000000 on the hex scale there is ‘HUSSIE’
see, it’s even six characters.
Of course there is. I invented the hexadecimal scale, Egbert. Or is that too spoiler-y for you?
Better watch my tender lips - I might accidentally inform you of the preordained dire - albeit, convivial for me! - fates of your three besties.
Oh.
Oops.
My bad.
(Source: andrewhussie, via jonathanegbert)
Funny you ask. Tonight we have a special guest joining us. Give a warm welcome to Ryan North, part-time comsognathus and toiletry extraordinaire.
Ryan, how about you use that surgically-attached calculator on your hand to give our friend some mathematically accurate estimates on those costs?
Well?
What do you have for us?
Taadaa! If that isn’t genius of the algebraic persuasion, I don’t know what is.
Any more questions, class?
oh no, none of this fuck giving nonsense.
you need to start taking responsibility for what you write.
so on behalf of the homestuck cast entirely i am eating your credit cards.
Credit cards?
Oh I’m sorry, I think our monetary systems differ.
I use Relinquished Souls and Bodies of Homestuckers Express. You know, all the ones who just couldn’t take the hilarious fates of half your troll friends? Those ones. Packed, sealed, and in jars. No cards necessary! It’s kind of a new thing. (They’re doing a referral program, I can totes get you in.)
(via jonathanegbert)
The Life and Times of Mr.Hussie: Wasn’t that a fun new update?
I’ll take your quiet sobbing as a resounding “yes”. I’m glad you adorable group of troglodytes enjoyed it as much as I did.
Because, really? I love it.
And don’t tell me another nigh-canon potential character death is a spoonful of bitter overkill. It’s not like Mr.English has officially kicked…
Hussie, are you saying that people actually DIE in this comic of yours? Because at this point, I was fully under the impression that that was not something that happened.
Actually, I am still firmly under the impression that everyone is going to come back to life. I am not going to mourn anyone’s deaths until the comic ENDS and they are still dead.
Gotta love me some warm n’ toasty slices of denial. And with a thick spread of wronged anger with an eventual Mourning of a Lifetime? Best brunch ever. I’ll send you the funeral roses free of charge.
